The Power of Listening (A Leadership Commentary)

We’ve all heard of EQ. In today’s world, success is no longer about who can calculate numbers the fastest or who can write the best. Instead, it increasingly belongs to those who can regulate their emotions, listen deeply, and respond with intention. Many effective leaders share this skill, and it is not something people are simply born with; it is something deliberately developed over time.

Several people I admire—including a former president of HP, a current vice president at Netflix, and the Dean of Economics at UCR—have all told me some version of the same thing: they did not advance because they were the smartest person in the room. Many of them, like me, started with very little. What set them apart was not raw intellect, but the way they worked and the frameworks they used to approach problems. While those frameworks differ across people, one factor consistently sits at the center: emotional intelligence and maturity. I would argue that a large majority of leadership challenges can be handled more smoothly and effectively when this lens is applied.

I will get straight to the point. The framework is simple:

Foundation → Support → Application

1. Foundation: Listening

The foundation of leadership is listening, not speaking. And not performative listening, but authentic listening.

A few month ago, I wrote about authenticity and its role in leadership and effectiveness. Recently, someone told me they genuinely enjoyed that piece, which pushed me to revisit these ideas with fresh perspective.

When you are in conversation with someone, ask yourself: are you actually listening, or are you simply waiting for your turn to respond? It is easy to assume we already understand the situation or the person in front of us. In reality, we almost never have full context. That assumption—believing we already know—is often what limits growth as a leader. We assume instead of asking, and in doing so we build mental tracks that send our thinking in the wrong direction, often toward conclusions we should not be reaching at all.

This is where empathy begins: with active listening.

No individual has everything figured out. On your own, you do not know enough to make the best possible decision. But when people come together, multiple perspectives and lived experiences begin to fill in the gaps. Better judgment emerges collectively.

Ancient sailors did not rely on a single star to navigate. They used multiple constellations, triangulating their position by cross-referencing points of light. One star could mislead you; several stars revealed the truth. Decision-making works the same way. You need multiple reference points—multiple perspectives—to know where you truly stand.

When people feel unheard, they often interpret it as arrogance. That disconnect breeds frustration and resentment. If you fail to create an environment where people feel genuinely listened to, the foundation is already weakened before anything meaningful can be built. Conversely, when people feel seen, heard, and valued, performance improves. Clarity increases. Ownership deepens. Engagement becomes real.

Active listening is not optional. It is foundational.

2.Support: Trustworthiness

If listening creates the foundation, trustworthiness provides the structural support. Trust is built through demonstrated competence and consistent character. Without listening, trust never forms. Without character and competence, it cannot last.

Trust flows from two sources: competence (can you actually do what you claim?) and trustworthiness (will you do the right thing?). Both are rooted in character.

Good character can be thought of as:

Hard Work + Intent − Skepticism

Hard work is the discipline to follow through, to show up, and to do what is required when no one is watching.

Intent is the why behind action. Effort without purpose is just motion. Purpose without effort is just a wish. Character requires alignment between the two.

Skepticism, in this context, often shows up as negativity—toward others or toward oneself. Consider walking into a lecture and immediately thinking: what could this professor possibly offer me? That mindset shuts down learning before it has a chance to begin. But when you choose to listen with openness and curiosity, you create the conditions for insight. Learning becomes something you actively construct rather than passively receive.

This principle applies far beyond classrooms. It applies to teams, organizations, and relationships of every kind

3.Application

Application comes last, and for good reason. Once the foundation and support are in place, application begins to flow naturally. Conversations shift from monologues to possibilities. That shift is a clear signal of emotional maturity.

Consider a simple situation: you are faced with a problem, but no clear solution presents itself. Instead of forcing an answer, you focus on what is workable. You listen. Through listening, constraints become visible, perspectives emerge, and viable paths forward begin to form. Often, listening itself resolves much of the problem.

When you genuinely listen, strip away skepticism, and build trust through character and competence, the nature of problem-solving changes. You are no longer trying to be right. You are trying to find what works.

And workability emerges when diverse perspectives engage with a shared challenge.

Problems are not solved because one person is brilliant. They are solved because someone created the conditions where insight could surface from anywhere, from anyone. That is the leadership path worth pursuing—not one defined by having all the answers, but one defined by intentionally creating space for answers to emerge.

That, in itself, is the application of emotional maturity.

Discussion questions:

Sincerely,

@pplcallmetat

PS: My mentor once told me, “Wisdom is not found in never falling, it is found in rising each time you do. The greatest fool is not the one who stumbles, but the one who believes he will not.” So you might fail at this, but I am surely you will learn if you put your heart to it ! (LOL I failed a lot and I do stumble here and there)